Sunday, August 28, 2011

Sunday Funk

I am debating even posting this... but it's time to vent. Today was HARD. The hardest Sunday I've had so far with little Boonie Lefler. Whoa. Everything started off fine as we only made it in to sacrament meeting 5 minutes late and were actually able to find a side pew to contain the beast... I'm not sure that it's the fact that my son talks more than other babies... but the VOLUME. His little coos and calls (shrieks and screams) seem to just be amplified in the chapel totally disrupting everyone's peace.

*SIDE NOTE* Mason was with me today but he was busy planning a lesson that he had to give during the 3rd hour. So I was on my own.

I tried to stay in the chapel long enough to be able to take the sacrament, but Boonie wasn't having it. So after one block being thrown and lots of screams we left the room. I took him to the mother's room where, luckily no one was in there, (I forgot my cover) I tried to nurse him, but he wasn't having that either. So I decided to put him down and let him run wild in that room.... No... he didn't want me to put him down either. Anyway... long story short... I decided to go back in to the chapel after the rest hymn. After about 5 minutes ok, we'll say 7, he grabs hold of my mother's day necklace and throws himself backwards nearly falling out of my arms and screams, sending the charm flying. Mason gives me the death look (or so I interpreted) and so I haul him out - back to the mothers room.

It's interesting how sore your arms can be after just one hour of trying to contain an 11 month old. Finally sacrament ends and I take him back to pass off to Mason and head to my nursery calling.

I need some spiritual uplifting today, badly.

But then I feel guilty as people in the hall look at me and tell me, "This stage passes so quickly." And how they miss their little ones at this age. Now please don't get me wrong, I love every single thing about my baby, but today was just one of those hard days. During one of the mother's room melt downs I looked at that little blonde boy and imagined the man that he would one day be and was thankful for my time with him. I know I will look back at these days and miss them, but that doesn't make them any easier. It's almost as if I am viewing them from afar as they are happening - I'm being thankful and smiling to myself, but then I am frustrated at the same time.

I wonder at what age I am suppose to expect him to be able to sit through sacrament. I also wonder if there are things I could be doing to help him be calmer. But like I said, this week was just one of those weeks. Perhaps next week will be better.


The Stanford Bunch said...

sacrament meeting is hard! our kids at 7, 5, and 3 are still hard. just know, that you are not alone!!!

xantogal said...

There must be something in the air... that travels between states, because my nephew was having a hard day today too. I know you feel guilty, but just remember that at least half of the people there have either been there and done that, or are going thru it too. And nobody should be making you feel like you are being a bad mom, or that you have to keep your kids quiet all the time (especially when they're that young). If they don't want the kid noise, they can go to a senior citizen ward or something. LOL.
All I'm saying, dear, is that you are a great mom and just keep doing your best :) Love you!! xoxo

About us Everts... said...

Oh, I'm so happy to know I'm not the only one with rough days... except my Sundays are pretty much like that every week. Especially when I go by myself with all 3. It's HARD. I finally just let the boys play a game on my phone in the foyer while Asher hung out on the floor. I couldn't take it anymore. I also hate when everyone looks at you and makes those kind of remarks. It's bad enough I am dealing with my wiggly children! I for one can't wait until they get to go into Nursery. Hang in there. That's what I keep telling myself. :)

Stephanie Saunders said...

When Melanie was about 2 months old, there was a span of about 3 months where Kent was on call every. single. Sunday. So here I am with a 2-month old, 20-month old, and a 4-year old. Those had to be the longest 3 months ever. Even more so than home, because I think all of us want those really reverent kids, and if there's one place our kids have the power to embarrass us, it's in sacrament meeting at church. There were so many times I would go to church and think "I'm here to show my kids obedience. I'm here to show my kids obedience." Because heaven knows I wasn't really learning much since I couldn't hear a thing.

I'll be honest- there's nothing I hate more than people telling me "You'll look back and wish they were that age. Enjoy it now." Everyone says that because NO ONE ENJOYED THOSE MOMENTS WHEN THEY WERE KIDS. And there's a reason they didn't. Some of those moments just aren't enjoyable. Like when you're at the end of your rope and you just wish that your kid will sit still for 5 minutes. Just because I'm frustrated now doesn't mean I want them to be old enough for college tomorrow. It means I'm getting frustrated like every other mother would on this green earth. Even now, thinking back to when Taylor was younger, I think of when he was sweet or playful and wish he wouldn't have grown up so fast- I pretty much NEVER think of his tantrums or screaming or fits and think, "Awww, I wish he was still younger. Those were the days..."

As for when they can sit still in church, it's a tough one. Each of my kids has been different. Taylor was the easiest (since that's just how he is and he was my first so I could actually give him my attention in church). Melanie is going to be 2 in November, and we still have to take her out at times. But for the most part we expect her to sit in our laps until Sacrament is over and then all the kids are only allowed to color afterwards. But Melanie also still has her pacifier (which is clearly more for my sanity than hers at this point), which keeps her quieter. I think by about 2 all 3 of my kids were relatively reverent. And I use that term loosely;)

Keep up the good work! I think it's a mom's favorite day when their toddler goes to nursery. (Sorry my comment was so long!)